English Beer. Fucking hell it's bad.

English beer. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

Back in Australia we like our beer. You simply can't beat a trip down the bottlo, splash out about $25 on a slab of VB and then have a few cold ones whilst checking out the NRL, Super 14, V8 Supercars or a day tanning in the backyard watching the cricket.

Even when you have a night out in the RSL, your local Leagues Club or just down the local pub, the old VB or NEW goes down a treat. Its served on tap out of an ice covered pump and is so cold it makes your teeth ache. Bewdy.

Thank god one or 2 'wine warehouses' over here in Pommieland now stock the good stuff, so a homesick Aussie can buy a slab or 2 and drink it in the comfort of his house.

But what happens when you are out over here and there isn't a Walkabout Inn around or you have forgotten to pack a few stubbies into your esky if you are driving?

Ladies and Gentlemen....welcome to a Pommie Pub.

Now you will find that pubs over here are not like pubs back home. A typical English pub will be chockers with underage drinkers and underage slappers who have been picked up so many times they have grown handles. The beer is warm. Its flat. They sell a curious beer called 'Bitter' that is actually nothing like Victoria 'Bitter' at all. Pommie bitter is like drinking warm rusty water through an Abos jockstrap. The Lager (what we call 'Beer' back home) is a rancid combination of various chemicals. The 'Cider' has never seen an apple in its life. They do a drink called 'Mild' ...which from what I can work out is the slops left over from when they have brewed English 'Bitter'. I think an average pint of 'Bitter' over here is about 3.4% ABV .... a truly truly repulsive experience when you realise you need about 8 pints of the stuff before you even feel slighly pissed.