Poms. How can I put this tactfully? Fuck it. I can't. YOU FUCKING STINK.
When I was growing up in good old Australia everyone used to say similar things about the English. They have a bath once a week whether they need it or not. The best way to make an Englishman run is to wave a bar of soap at him. An English batsman will quite happily let the Palmolive pass through to the keeper without offering a stroke. The expression 'I'm as dry as a Pommie Shower' was used frequently. If you sprayed yourself with deodorant you had 'A Pommie Shower'. These are the sort of comments I heard about the English on a day to day basis. As a small child I used to think to myself 'Who the fuck are these people?' 'People that dont like soap and water?' 'What the fuck?' I put it down as a joke, forgot about it and didn't really believe it.
AND THEN I CAME TO ENGLAND.
Mum. Dad. Johnno the Postman. Wayneo Jones from down the road. Miss Gough my school teacher. Mr Schultz the baker. Mikey Cunningham from number 5. Everyone else I have forgotten. To all of you. I APOLOGISE FOR DOUBTING YOU. EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS TRUE.
POMS. YOU REALLY DO FUCKING STINK.
If you don't believe me try catching the London Underground during the rush hour in the middle of July. Hundreds of Poms all packed into a carriage like sweaty sardines. Its truly enough to make you chuck.
I personally copped a whiff of a Pom on there a few weeks ago who really did smell like he had shit himself.
3 months ago.
Absolutely. Fucking. Disgusting.
Poms. If you can't afford a bar of soap now and then see me. I'll happily buy you one.
But I'll bet you 20 bucks you won't have a clue how to use it.
.
I am an Aussie living in Camden. I travel the tube everyday to my offices on Embankment. It's quite true. The English do stink. Badly. Very fucking badly.
ReplyDelete"If you sprayed yourself with deodorant you had "A Pommie Shower."
ReplyDeleteThis is commonly known as a ''whore bath'' and was indeed invented by the English.