The English. Ugly, Ugly, UGLY.

There are far too many ugly people in England. I am not kidding, this shit has got to stop. England has filled its quota of ugliness. No more ugly people needed. Remove the 'Ugly People required in England' posters. The positions have all been filled. At least 50 times over. With thousands left disappointed.

Whilst out today I saw man whose face was grotesquely pinched and small, but whose head was big and round. And if that wasn't bad enough, he'd grown a moustache and a goatee beard. People in England are casually ugly. The typical ugly person in Australia is kind of too fat or too thin. And that’s it. They might have a weird bald patch, but generally speaking, they're sort of ok. In England, you’ll see people in the street who look like they belong in a circus. I’ve sat next to people on buses and on the tube and made sure none of my exposed skin touched theirs for fear I might somehow contract warts or some other disgusting skin disease from them. In Australia we only allow really beautiful people on TV. Unless they're really funny, and even then, we have limits. In England, you can have your own TV show even if you look like a rhinos afterbirth. And that's on fucking TV. On the streets of this fucked up island it's a free for all. Just go to any bus stop or train station in England and you will see people with faces like partially melted wax sculptures, faces that look one part human flesh / one part monkey vomit.

This has to be the ugliest country in the world. Everyone has the right to be ugly, but the Poms just take the fucking piss.