English Farmers should all be shot

Yes I know British farmers grow stuff. Yes I know British farmers milk cows so we can have milk on our coco pops.

But for fucks sake.....why are they so fucking annoying?

Travel to any rural location anywhere in England and you will see a farmer. Usually the fuckers will be dressed in overalls covered in shit, an old greasy looking jacket, wellington boots and a flat cap. More often than not you will be driving along an English country road in a massive tailback of traffic doing 10 mph. There at the front of the queue, driving along in a world of oblivion at 10 mph on a filthy tractor will be a farmer. The farmer doesnt give a fuck about the fact he is holding you up. All he really cares about is how much money the British government are paying him and his inbred family to NOT grow any crops this year.

Older farmers on a trip out to the local town particularly amuse me. The will always be dressed the same. They will have shiny brown elastic sided boots on, light brown trousers, a check shirt, a tweed jacket and a tie. They will all have ruddy complexions. Usually they will be carrying a walking stick. They will have hairy ears and teeth with gaps inbetween.They smile inanely. They will have made the journey into town in a brand new Land Rover or top of the range Range Rover. Whichever they have travelled in, it will be coated from wheels to roof in caked on cow shit. There will usually be a filthy dog on the back seat and a bale of hay in the boot. They will always be whinging about how they have no money.

British farmers, you won't be surprised to hear, are all interbred. Their children all resemble the 2 retards in the picture above. This picture is of 2 English farmers daughters called Daisy and Rosie. The male children are usually born with only one eye in the centre of their foreheads and spend all day being sexually inappropriate with their own mothers.

All farmers will make the effort to ensure their offspring all end up marrying their cousins, or if they can get away with it, their own brothers or sisters. This is because British farmers are paranoid that their farms will end up being passed on to someone from outside their own bloodline. The phrase 'keep it in the family' was made for English farmers!

The one good thing about English farmers is that they like to commit suicide. This is usually done when a child marries an 'outsider' or the government have not paid them £2,000,000 for not growing a field of wheat.

The good thing about farmer suicides is that for every one that does it, it's one less to get in my fucking way on the roads and cover my shiny new car in cow shit as I queue behind them at 10 mph.