English Football is dead and buried.

I mentioned English Rugby League on an earlier post, and how England invented the rules yet they are still fucking shit at it.

The same thing could be said of Football (or Soccer as we call it in Australia)

In Australia it has been said that soccer is a game played by only 3 types of person. Poofters, Wogs and Sheilas. And how very true.

So lets have a Captain Cook at the Pommie national pastime in a bit of detail.

Its a really simple game this one. The idea is to kick a football into a goal. However simple it may be, the English have never really grasped the concept of it. The earliest game of footy played on this shitty little island was believed to have been introduced by the Romans. When the Romans fucked off, a few years later the Normans invaded and brought with them a similar type of game. I have no idea if the English played either the Romans or the Normans at soccer, but I'm sure if they did they would have lost. Badly. Because thats what the Poms do best in life.

The funny thing about the Poms is that even to this day they keep banging on about winning the World cup against the Germans. In fucking 1966. FORTY THREE YEARS AGO. And that was only because the Russian linesman hated the Germans and decided to award England a goal that was never a goal in a million years.

So just what have England won at football since 1966???

FUCK ALL.

Yup. FUCK ALL. And this from a country that claims football to be its national sport. Pathetic. Maybe its time England adopted dominos or snooker as its national sport. Although I doubt they would fucking win either of those.

So just why are England so shit at their own national sport??

Simple.

All the big named Pommie clubs buy foreigners. Take Arsenal. I am not a fan of soccer, but from what I recall hardly any of the team are English. Same as Chelsea. One maybe 2 Poms in the entire side?? So as with Rugby League when it comes to putting a national team out the Poms are fucked.

Also what hasn't helped is the English Football Hooligans. Where as you would expect there to be a bit of tension between supporters of Poland and Germany, or maybe Holland and Germany for events 50 odd years ago, why do the English like to travel to Greece or Spain, consume the local beer (which is stronger than your average pint of pommie pisswater) and proceed to fight the locals then smash the place up? And if thats not bad enough, supporters of two different London /Manchester / Birmingham clubs will quite happily arrange meetings before a game where rival fans will proceed to kick several shades of shit out of one another. So not being content with bashing foreigners, your average Pommie football fan will quite happily bash his next door neighbour for supporting a different team if there are no foreigners are about.

As I mentioned, England havent won a football trophy for 43 years. And the way the national team play I think we can safely say it will be at least another 43 years before any silverware makes its way to that empty trophy cabinet at Wembley stadium.